I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Did I show you my penis last night?
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize