I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
this beer tastes like vomit already
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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