Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
