just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Alive.
So much puke
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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