:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
