No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
