Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
