hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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