That's intense
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
