My first STD was from a foam party
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
