it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Im part way to drunk.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
