Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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