OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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