oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
two words: eviction party
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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