Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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