we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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