He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
