Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
