Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize