this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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