At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
If its not for food we ain't going out.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize