It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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