the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
