Don't make out with my wife yet
no. you can't hotbox the world.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
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