i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
