I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
