are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
