Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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