I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I puked a lego.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
