and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
