He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I got inside last night via doggy door
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize