I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
