it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Do you have feelings for this penis?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
