if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
