absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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