when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
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