oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
