All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
