She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize