tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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