just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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