Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize