Just fell off a train. Bad.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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