Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
