Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Randomize
