We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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