ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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