Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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