Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
