Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Randomize
