He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Someone shattered a urinal.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize