I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
