So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Randomize
