We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
