Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Randomize
