My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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