The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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