I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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