glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
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