oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Is it because I queefed?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
