allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize