I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
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