So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
