just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
