if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
