He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
