i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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