I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
