so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
