puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
