in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize