____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
