he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
