If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
operation have a gay friend backfired
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
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