eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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