Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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