just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
