You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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