Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Randomize
