I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
it's great music for shaving your balls
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
